pointlessly purple powered by purple purple network purple Powder Blue Tuxedo: The Eight Best Villains Ever.

5/30/2008

The Eight Best Villains Ever.

8. Cats
Zero Wing
I'm sure everybody's heard the phrase "All your base are belong to us" at least once.
Well, meet the man who spoke these famous words.

How are you, gentlemen? All your base are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction.
also...
For great justice, take off every zig.

What is a zig? How exactly does one take it off? The world may never know... but Cats does!

7. Macavity the Mystery Cat
CATS
With the added bonus of being the creepiest-looking cat in the entire show, he's got a badass red-and-white jumpsuit, and a song about him [which is also pretty badass]. And come one... it's plain those chicks want his body. [Not me, though... I'm going for The Rum Tum Tugger. Meow, indeed.]

6. Scar
The Lion King
OK, so I know he's a cartoon lion. But he's so awesome! I remember thinking he was soooo cooool when I was little. So he gets a spot on here. Plus, he's voiced by Jeremy Irons, which makes him instantly badass.

Scar: Be prepared.
Hyena: Yeah, sure, ha, we'll be prepared. ... For what?
Scar: For the death of the king!
Hyena: What, is he sick?
Scar [taking hyena by throat]: No, fool, we're gonna kill him. [drops hyena.]

[Heh heh. Did you notice my first three were cats? :)]

5. The monster from the id/ Dr. Morbeus' other self
Forbidden Planet
This is perhaps the second coolest non-humanoid villian ever [first is Kerrigor, listed as tied for first :).] And the fact that it actually comes from the mind of a docile old man is even more awesome. And it's out there to prove that CG has ruined the science fiction genre, and you can do some pretty kick-ass things with simple animation. And you CG "animators" better listen. Do you really want this thing knocking at your door? Didn't think so.

4. HAL 9000
2001: A Space Odyssey
One of those bad guys you feel bad for when they eventually lose. HAL is not necessarily a villain, since he went mad, but he is the antagonist nonetheless. More than just a computer, and that voice has the ability to send shivers down my spine.

I'm sorry Dave... I'm afraid I can't do that.



3. Darth Vader
Star Wars
Yeah, I know, I'm being so original here for my number three spot. But come on... when a guy makes his first appearance in a movie choking a man not technically using his bare hands [since he's using the Force] while simultaneously hovering him above the ground, and speaks like James Earl Jones [albeit with asthma], you have no choice but to admit he deserves this spot. If I hadn't been so enamoured of girly men and zombie lords, he would be number one.

I find your lack of faith disturbing.

2. Dr. Frank-N-Furter
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Oh, Frankie, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways...
My favourite extraterrestrial transvestite singing mad scientist. Never mind he might just be the the only one. That doesn't matter.

So... come up to the lab. And see what's on the slab. I see you shiver with antici... pation.

THE INCREDIBLE TIE FOR FIRST!

I honestly couldn't decide. So here. You can have both.


1. Jareth the Goblin King
Labyrinth
When you have to spend like, three minutes trying to figure out which picture to use, you're obsessional. I am a self-proclaimed David Bowie addict, and there's nothing I, you, or anybody else could possibly do about it. Tight pants, make-up, and the hottest wig ever. What else could I possibly want? Hm... maybe if the pants were just a little tighter. All I know is, I would not be saving Toby. No siree.

It's a crystal. Nothing more. But if you turn it this way, and look into it, it will show you your dreams.







1. Kerrigor
Sabriel by Garth Nix
The picture of Kerrigor on here is on the front cover of the book, but I might just have to draw this dude a way better picture, because that's not what I imagine him as. Basically, Kerrigor is a swirling column of darkness with glowing white eyes and a voice described as "liquid" who commands a hoard of zombies. I mean, I find it hard to find words that can describe just how awesome he is. I can talk about him for at least an hour. And he like, never dies! I mean, it takes forever to keep him down, you can never actually kill Kerrigor. He comes back after death, and you can never fully kill his spirit. In fact, for about ten minutes in the book, he actually goes back into his dead body, which is well, attractive. You know, until he starts rotting. Psh. Plus, it doesn't hurt that he's the co-protagonist's brother, and a prince who killed his own mother so he could take over the throne. In comparison, Kerrigor's brother is such a wimp. Kerrigor is every monster under your bed combined, and truly your worst nightmare.
I ♥ you, Kerrigor. I ♥ you.
Man... haha, he would probably kill me for that. In fact, he'd kill me for anything. He's just messed up like that.

"An inconvenience," he said with a voice that was only marginally more human, "I should have remembered that you were a troublesome brat."

[He says this after Sabriel {protagonist} tries basically everything in her power to contain him, and he is forced to go back into his human body.]

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The Goblin King gets what he wants. Fear him, love him, do as he says, and he will be your slave!!!!!!!! No, wait. Not yours. Mine.