Lizz's Fantabulistic Rules of Life

1.) Gym class sucks.

2.) Keep breathing.

3.) Leave the house with clothes on. It's a good thing.

4.) Forget about it. All the good stuff is either too expensive, somebody else has it, or, well... non-existent.

5.) Glitter can be fun.

6.) Tabloid people aren't real. They are mere shadows of the human beings they once were. Ignore them and try not to pity them.

7.) Everybody looks worse without the make-up.

8.) Drew twitches a lot.

9.) Who needs an expensive car and lots of money when you've got... imagination?

10.) Goodwill: good. Expensive stuff: bad.

11.) It's better to live in your own little world than to be miserable in the "real" one.

12.) Politicians are always corrupt.

13.) The world is 98% populated by assholes and creepy people. Don't let them get to you.

14.) Nice people also exist.

15.) If something is good, it can turn bad, and the bad can only get worse.

16.) So be happy while you still can.

17. ) Life's a bitch and then you die. 'Cause if life was a slut, it would be easy.

18.) Your slice of the pie will never be as big as that other guy's slice of the pie, so just shut up, fight the power, screw the pie and eat cake.

19.) Dog food tastes like crap.

20.) By some inexplicable means, everybody knows what Play-Doh tastes like.

21.) Brain freezes are not fun.

22.) Most things you eat taste good until you realize just what you're eating.

23.) Don't fall. Because you know it hurts when you fall. [Overheard in shopping mall, to a little kid.]

24.) Tea gives you fuzzy teeth. [Random words of wisdom from my Uncle Bruce.]

25.) White tea is a baby tea leaf.

26.) Dogs don't know it's not bacon!

27.) Every new day can be the start of something average.

28.) "Fluffy is good."


May the Force be with you.